Mr. Whitekeys grew up in South Dakota, Iowa, and Arizona.  His fondest memories of his youth were the days his father, a doctor, would bring home jugs of unusable blood which he would pour on the roses for fertilizer.  No one in town grew better roses.

Whitekeys moved to Alaska in 1970, immediately began playing piano in sleazy bars, and for a brief time in 1972 he and his friend Bodfish held the Guinness Book record for the world's longest banana split--an 800 foot confectionery monster built on Anchorage’s Park Strip.  That record was broken a few months later in Minneapolis by some guys who cheated.  Setting an ice cream record in below-freezing winter temperatures presents no challenge at all, but Guinness recognized it anyway.

Inside Coco, The Colossal Colon.    Get a Colonoscopy--you’ll be glad you did it in the end!

While performing at Chilkoot Charlie’s in the early 70’s, Mr. Whitekeys and The Oosik Music Company gave the bar it’s world famous slogan, “We Cheat The Other Guy and Pass The Savings On To You!”  The management thought they were kidding.

After closing the Fly By Night Club, he has had run-ins with the law for illegally photographing missile sites in Arctic Valley, illegally photographing the Seward Prison, getting too close to grizzly bears in Denali Park, and birdwatching in Mountain View.

In his spare time Whitekeys is addicted to coral reef marine biology, illegal fireworks, and is currently the President of the Anchorage Audubon Society.  He will continue to embarrass the entire environmental community until someone else agrees to take the job.   

In 1980, he opened Mr. Whitekeys' Fly By Night Club in Anchorage, Alaska.  The bar was designed to employ other ridiculously over-educated people who just don't like getting up early in the morning.


Since then, his life has been a fairy tale which has come true.  In February, 1995, Whitekeys was invited to the Alaska Governor's Inaugural Ball where he was honored to be the guy who introduced the guy who introduced the guy who introduced the Governor.

Committing a Federal Offense by photographing the missile site at Arctic Valley, Alaska